Diagonal in a Parallel World by T.L. Johnson

Author:T.L. Johnson [Johnson, T.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781491823316
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Published: 2014-05-18T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Six

“Coping and Adapting for Both”

Coping is a natural process it is the mechanism we use to alleviate stress, it is the basic functional part of the brain that protects us from emotional breakdown. Whether it is external or internal stressors or demands we have this defensive mechanism that kicks in to protect us from the unpredictable storms which create the stress.

Your ability to cope for yourself is a natural instinct and in most cases happens without any sense of awareness. However coping for someone else requires extensive thought, planning, calculation and implementation of combined strategies. This is not always so easy to attain. It requires you to look within the walls of someone else’s core to the actual stressors that affect “them” and are felt within “them.” You are now carefully observing every facial expression, body movement, mannerisms and anything connecting it to the environmental stimuli that may reveal the key to appropriately defining the cause of the unstable inability to cope.

For me the combative reality was to understand the disability or dysfunctional part of the equation, once I understood the ramifications I could better grasp how to cope for the both of us and adapt or modify what needed to be changed. Then the realizations truly set in that to completely remove all the stressors, will most likely not solve the problem and may in fact promote and create more problem areas; as it does not solve the problem it only masks it for that moment. This illusion that brings forth the defining moments and realizations of exactly what is required to combat this array of emotional breakdowns and chaotic emotions and subsequent out bursts.

To better understand this inability, I had to break the dysfunctions down to a smaller more manageable size. I took a look at the basic skills that we as society ordinarily just have, “life skills,” these things we learn that are common sense factors to enable normal functioning within the parameters of society. They are usually learnt quite quickly within the domain of parenting; and are usually just implemented through simple observation and experience not a deliberate parental concept.

In breaking it down I looked at the area that indeed seemed to be the hardest for my child to access. Executive functioning; this area that I take for granted; it is this automatic physiological process that manages our ability to cognitively control flexibility; our abstract thinking. This area of abstract thinking where we can and do understand the, if ands and buts of life, we have the ability to generalize an assortment of circumstances or situations.

Adaptive functioning; who ever gives this a second thought, to most of us is just a part of life, I never even connected hearing the phrase to actual life processes; it was a nothing until I had it become a major part of my life. Adaptive functioning is a behavioral issue that is essentially having the ability to adapt from a non constructive situation or behavior to a constructive situation or behavior.

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